seven

that's the number of hand-sanitizing products i have in my purse. no, that's not seven little packets of wipes. that is actually seven different products. just in my purse. since having kids, i've become a bit of a germaphobe. i'm working on it. maybe next week i will just have six. or maybe eight! honestly, though, wouldn't you want to keep these little hands clean?

things i'm thankful for today:

1. watching the girls have fun with their cousins

2. living near my niece and nephew

3. having our vacuum fixed soon (hopefully!)

4. the weekend is here

5. movie night at home with my husband (if we can both stay awake!)

another day at the park

we went to the park again today with some friends. the girls ran all around the park together. holding hands, following each other, racing down the slide, exploring, and pushing each other on the swings. there was one tiny little tantrum, but overall, they had a great time!

things i'm thankful for today:

1. a morning running errands with my mom

2. an early naptime

3. getting together with friends tonight (even if it is technically for a meeting)

4. another reminder not to take things/people for granted

5. my friend's husband is finally back from iraq!!!!!

new dresses

today i'm thankful for:

1. the girls in their cute new dresses

2. a church where we all feel at home

3. empty laundry baskets!

4. my dad's help in the nursery at church

5. my short "work week" ahead (toby comes home tomorrow, but doesn't go back to work until wednesday!)

more saturday pancakes

the girls were lucky enough to have pop's pancakes two weekends in a row! catherine said she wanted 12 pancakes, then changed her mind and wanted 40. needless to say, she didn't eat much for lunch. after breakfast, the girls went outside to watch "strawberry shortcake" on the patio. pancakes with nanny and pop, then "strawberry shortcake" on the patio...who could ask for more?

i'm thankful for:

1. a good night's sleep

2. the girls' excitement, even over the smallest things

3. pancake saturdays

4. hearing from old friends

5. a loving family

girls weekend

this weekend, it's just me and the girls! toby is off for the weekend to play in a golf tournament, so the girls and i are on our own. while i don't look forward to weekends without him, i don't dread it like i used to. we actually have a pretty good time by ourselves. we're going to have breakfast tomorrow with nanny and pop, do a little shopping, rent some movies, and maybe even get started on some father's day presents. we probably won't do anything constructive like clean the house, but we'll have a good time. they seem to always get sick when he's gone, so cross your fingers that they stay well this time!

today i'm thankful that:

1. grace seems to be feeling better

2. toby has great friends he can relax and have a fun weekend with

3. the girls (and i!) took a long nap today

4. i have a whole weekend of lifetime movies ahead!

5. tonight is chick-fil-a night!!

perspective

lately i've been thinking a lot about perspective and attitude. i tend to let the little things get to me. i get upset if we are running late somewhere. it makes me mad when the girls unfold the whole pile of laundry that i just folded. i'm annoyed when they take all of the tissues out of the box, or take all of the paper towels off the roll. i wish i was one of those people who could just let things roll off their backs. but i'm not. i'm the person who can fume over something small for hours. in addition to all of that, i also take things for granted more often than i should. i don't always cherish the everyday moments like i should. i'm trying to change all of that, though. i was reading a blog the other day that really put things in perspective. it is written by an amazing woman about the loss of her daughter shortly after birth. i have thought about her everyday since reading her blog. i can't tell you the impact her words have had on me. i've thought about how foolish i have been in not recognizing how precious every moment is with my family. in the last few days, i've tried to see the big picture. i've reminded myself that the things that usually get under my skin and upset me so much are the things that don't matter in the least bit. does it mean that nothing gets to me now? not really, but i am getting better. does it mean that i'll never lose my temper again over something small? i wish! to tell you the truth, i already have. it just means that i'm trying to keep things in perspective and not lose sight of what matters most. i'm so thankful for how angie is so openly, honestly, and faithfully sharing about her experience and how god is using it to make an impact on so many lives. including mine.

picture perfect day

yesterday was a really fun day. okay, minus the broken bedrail incident. even that was pretty funny, though. in the morning, we went to the park with a friend. after that, nanny went with us to target, and then we got to eat lunch with her and pop. we went home after lunch to take a nap. you know how that worked out. before things went really downhill, though, a friend called and invited us over to play outside in the sprinkler. the girls had a blast, and got to wear their brand-new swimsuits! they were so cute! overall, it was just a great day. it was one of those days that you had pictured in your head of what motherhood was going to be like. at least it was for me. most days aren't "picture perfect," though. some days are. some days are just kinda average. others are boring. lonely. downright stinky. motherhood is so many things. what it isn't, though, is a fairy tale. kids fight. dinner burns. the house looks like a tornado blew through. bedrails break! but that's just life. you try to focus on the good, and get through the bad. when the girls were tiny babies, things were hard. i mean seriously hard. there were days that i did not want to get out of bed. days when i didn't think i could make one more bottle, burp one more baby, or change one more diaper. they cried all the time. so did i. but even on the hardest days, i knew that the worst day with them was 100 times better than the best day could be without them. sometimes i still have to remind myself of that. there are days that i don't want to buckle one more seatbelt, wipe one more bottom, or make one more lunch. but i do. i do it because i have two beautiful girls that i can do it for. because i'm the one that was lucky enough to be picked to be their mommy. i'm the one who was so unexpectedly, so undeservedly, so incredibly blessed with twins. it's not easy being a mom of twins. it isn't easy being a mom. period. i don't think it is for anyone. but it is such a blessing and an honor. one that i take for granted way more than i should. but i'm working on it!

i'm thankful for:

1. a husband that works hard so i can stay home with the girls

2. my friend, who is also a mom of twins, that understands me like no one else can

3. a hot, humid day that will force me to stay inside and do laundry!

4. "my friends tigger and pooh"

5. kids with a good sense of humor

another naptime mishap

remember how i said the girls should not be left alone and awake behind a closed door for long? remember how i said that only ends in trouble? have i learned my lesson? apparently not. i laid the girls down for a nap today, and mistakenly thought it would be okay to leave the room before they were asleep. for some reason, i thought today would be different. today, i thought, they would actually go to sleep on their own. they didn't. i left the room after making them promise that they would close their eyes and go right to sleep. if they did, we could ride bikes tonight. that should work, right? i was at the computer a few minutes later when i heard them giggling. i figured the nap wasn't going to happen, so i would just let them play for a few more minutes. not five minutes later, i heard catherine calling me. "uh, mommy? we have a really, really, really big problem in here." she wasn't yelling. there was no one crying. she was oddly calm. i knew this couldn't be good. silence is usually the first indicator of trouble around here. i walked into the room and saw grace's mattress halfway off the bed. grace was sitting in the corner by catherine's bed. she immediately, in the saddest voice she could muster up, started saying "i'm really sorry, mommy. mommy, i'm so, so sorry." i could not figure out what had happened. the mattress was almost off the bed, and the bedrail was now laying on the floor. it was still perfectly attached to the mattress, but was on the floor now, instead of being perpendicular to it. i sat on the floor and took grace in my arms. i asked her first if she was okay. when she told me that she was fine, i asked her what happened. her exact words - "well, i was on my bed and i was pretending that the bedrail was a magic carpet, when..." to paraphrase what she said after that, she was leaning on the bedrail when it broke, falling forward and pulling the mattress off the bed. she actually broke the bedrail! the metal bedrail! she is terribly sad, and very sorry. she promises she won't break it again. she promises not to use it as a magic carpet ever again. i'm not mad at her. i actually think it's pretty funny. i should have known better. nothing good happens when those two are alone. the good news...we don't even have to buy a new bedrail. i have a piece to replace the part she broke. i saved the extra pieces from the last time we had to buy a new bedrail to replace the part she broke!

i'm thankful for:

1. the girls' adOraBle new swimsuits!

2. sonic diet dr. pepper

3. sunny weather (perfect for the park and sprinkler!)

4. a peaceful day with little fighting

5. an early bedtime (hopefully!) for the girls

finally, a productive morning!

we've gotten a lot accomplished today! we were at wal-mart by 8:00, did our shopping, unloaded our groceries at home, got back in the car to go to mom's, took her to kroger, went back to her house and made dinner for her and dad as well as us, then came home in time for a good nap! that may not be a big deal to most people, but it's pretty good for us! early morning shopping at wal-mart is the best. there is no one there, the aisles are empty, and it is actually kind of peaceful. we didn't even eat breakfast before leaving...we took it with us! is that terrible? they ate their breakfast this morning in their stroller at wal-mart. whatever works, right? we might make this a weekly thing. it was so much easier pushing the stroller and pulling the shopping cart through an empty store. all in all, it's been a pretty good day!

*on another blog i read, each post ends with what she is thankful for that day. not a bad idea...so i'm going to copy! i'll try to be consistent and keep up with it.

i'm thankful for:

1. happy, healthy girls

2. an easy and productive morning

3. my mom's recovery - she is doing better each day

4. being able to live so close to my parents - we can see them often, and they can really get to know the girls and have a close relationship

5. DVR - i can record all my junk at night and watch it during naptime (which i'm about to do!)

our god is so great

i love to sing. i don't do it well, and i will only do it in front of my 3-year-olds, but i love to sing. when the girls were babies, i would sing all day long about whatever we happened to be doing. changing diapers, making a bottle, getting dressed, feeding, etc. i even (unknowingly) serenaded a friend's husband who was standing outside our home. he was kind enough to wait until i was finished singing to ring the doorbell. i don't know who was more embarrassed! anyway, i have apparently passed on my love of singing to the girls. they, too, will sing anything. the difference is, though, that they will also sing to anyone! the other day in the car we were all singing along to a cd i had made of my favorite songs. in the middle of singing "how great is our god" grace looks up at me with a big smile and says, "mommy, our god is so great!" isn't that the truth? our god is so great!

peanut butter cookies

i tried a new recipe for peanut butter cookies today. there are only three ingredients! the cookies were so fast and easy, and they were actually pretty good. they aren't the best peanut butter cookies i've ever had, but they would definitely do in a pinch. the girls ate them, so they couldn't have been too bad.

toddler tantrum

yesterday, catherine lost her pencil. no biggie, right? wrong! i shouldn't have laughed, but i couldn't help it. i just had to take a picture. the look was just priceless. as soon as the camera flashed, the tears were gone. turned off like a faucet. in the calmest, most pleasant voice, she said, "mommy, can i see the picture?" so much drama. i have no idea who she got that from!

pancake staurday

we all got together this morning at nanny and pop's house (my parents' house) to have pancakes and celebrate nanny's birthday. we thought we were surprising her, but i think she had us figured out! the girls go nuts for pop's pancakes. grace says he makes the best pancakes in her whole wide life. it is amazing how many pancakes those two can put away! maybe it has something to do with the fact that pop's pancakes are homemade and have butter and syrup. the pancakes at our house are whole wheat, and they come out of the freezer. who can really blame them?

after breakfast, we went outside to swing and play in the backyard. apparently my dad is the only one who is qualified to push the swings. they don't want me anywhere near their swings. if i get too close, they yell, 'no, we want PoP to push us!!'

it has been less than two weeks since mom's heart surgery, and she is doing pretty well. catherine and grace just don't quite understand why they can't leap off the couch into her arms, though.

hApPy biRtHdaY, mOm!

so tired

as babies, the girls used to fall asleep in the car all the time. these days, if they ever fall asleep in the car, you know they are really tired. today was one of those days! we spent a few hours at a local festival today, and i guess it wiped them out. so sweet when they're asleep!

friends

i have an amazing group of friends. friends that i really couldn't make it without. i have the kind of friends who will listen to you when you are down, and know whether to just listen, or try to cheer you up. they are the kind of friends who will go out of their way to make your day. the kind of friends who make you laugh so hard that your cheeks will hurt. my friends know my faults, and they love me anyway. they know the real me, but they still stick around. there really aren't enough words to adequately describe my friends. they are loving, compassionate, selfless, caring, and genuine. they are smart, thoughtful, creative, and hilarious. my friends are there for me when things are tough. they have prayed for me. they have prayed with me. they know when i want to talk, and when i don't. they know when i need to laugh, and when i need to cry. i don't know what i have done to deserve such incredible friends, but i am so grateful to have them! thanks, girls, you're the best!

mother's day gifts

for mother's day this year, we all gave my mom this cute picture panel from an adorable etsy shop i found called ready set decorate. it is so neat! there is room for at least four pictures. i can't wait to put the pictures on it and get it on her wall. i also ordered a picture album and one other thing that i can't mention;) there are tons of other great things in her shop. she has been so quick and easy to work with, too!


i was also really excited about my mother's day gift this year!!! i have been reading lisa leonard's blog for several months, and she makes beautiful jewelery. toby and the girls gave me a necklace i've really been wanting from her new website. it has looks just like this, but has both of the girls' names on it. i love it! she has so many beautiful and unique necklaces, i can't decide what i want next!

those kids

i've got those kids. the ones that just make you laugh. you know the ones. you can hear them singing the alphabet song in the produce department of wal-mart...all the way from lawn and garden. they are the ones who proudly announce their bathroom business in a restaurant to all who will listen. in store dressing rooms, they are the kids who are commenting on everything i am trying on. you know you've heard them. i've heard you trying not to laugh. they are those kids that attract attention no matter where they go. they are very animated. they have no volume control. no filter. they think it, then say it. they haven't yet learned about too much information. they have never met a stranger. they are not afraid to strike up a conversation with you...about anything. we went to see the doctor today for an ear infection, and they were once again those kids. they were not bad, don't get me wrong. they weren't the kids who were pitching a fit on the floor. they were those kids that everyone was watching over the edge of their magazine. people tried not to laugh out loud, but some couldn't help it. they had something to say from the moment we walked in, to the moment we walked out. "mommy!!! mommy!!! that big boy opened the door for us. he was sooooooo nice!" "look, mommy! fLiP fLoPs on the WaLL!" "doctor, your stool is gReeN!!!! that's grace's faVorIte cOloR!!" it was nonstop. the doctor even had to politely ask them to be quiet so he could concentrate. on the way out, they made friends with the other patient checking out, a nurse, and three receptionists. they questioned the other lady on her medical history and why she was there, and they told the nurse all about grace's ear. people looked. people laughed. i turned red. the girls love the attention. i don't. sometimes i like to just go unnoticed. i didn't like to be called on in class. i don't like having 'happy birthday' sung to me at a restaurant. i've never liked being put on the spot. i just don't really like a lot of attention. especially in front of strangers. i'm getting used to it, though, and i'm even starting to not mind it quite as much. i love who they are. their personalities and attitudes are unique and pretty darn cute. they are silly, sweet, funny and smart. they will do anything for a laugh. seriously, anything! no matter how embarrassed i may be sometimes when i feel the stares and hear the giggles, i'm always glad that those kids are my kids!

naptime

here is what naptime at our house looked like today...

here is what happened last time the girls were awake and in their rooms for just a little too long...

bottom line:

catherine + grace + closed door = tRouBle

bicycle riders coming

yesterday, the girls rode their brand new bicycles for the first time. i was a little nervous. a lot nervous, actually. i'm not big on blood, scrapes, and scratches, especially on my kids. i just knew (given my lack of coordination and athleticism) that this first try would not go well. fortunately, toby has enough of those qualities to make up for what i couldn't pass along to the girls. they did great! it was rocky at first, and it took a little bit for them to get the hang of it, but within 30 minutes they were zipping up and down the street. grace was so confident in her bike-riding skills that she decided she was going to ride her bicycle all the way to nanny and pop's house. we went out again tonight, and they had the best time. they went back and forth yelling, "bicycle riders coming!" for all to hear.

after all that work, it was time to stop and take a popsicle break!

happy mother's day, mom

when i became a mom, i started to see things differently. i saw things as a parent, not a child. i suddenly knew what it was like to really worry. i realized that i wasn't quite as smart as i thought i was. i realized my parents were even smarter than i thought they were. i started using hand sanitizer compulsively. becoming a mom changed everything. i see my mom differently now. i appreciate her even more, and respect her more than i could have before. i had no clue what it was really like to be a mom, because my mom did it all without complaining (and still does!). she didn't whine about the late nights she spent getting ready for birthday parties or holidays. she didn't complain about having to cook macaroni and cheese for lunch every single day. she did my laundry, cooked my meals, cleaned up my messes, and helped with homework, all without grumbling. she put up with me through middle school, acid-washed jeans, hairstyle, and all! she bent over backwards to make each house a home as quickly as possible when we moved. even if it meant she worked 24/7 until it was finished. she drove me to school so i wouldn't have to ride the bus. she listened when i had my heart broken. she sacrificed her own wants and needs for my wants and needs. she taught me to turn the other cheek, to help others even when it means going out of your way, to put your family first, to look for the best in things, and that it's okay to cry at commercials. even now that i have kids of my own, she is still there for me. she helps when the girls are sick, cheers over the phone when they go pee-pee on the potty, runs errands with us to make it easier, gives me advice, babysits, reminds me that things will get better, and keeps me sane. because of my mom, i stay at home with my kids so they can have the kind of childhood i had. i want them to have the kind of mom that i have. because my mom is the best!!

by myself

i've known the time was coming, and now it is here. it is good and bad, happy and sad. we're in the "by myself" stage. it started several months ago in the carseats. instead of putting the girls in, they insisted they could do it "by self." now it's more than the carseats. it is getting dressed, walking in a store, washing hands, etc. while i do love the independence, it does test my patience occasionally. the other day, one of the girls even suggested that she could fix her hair by herself. luckily, i talked her out of that one. most recently, they have started putting on their own shoes. this isn't really new - they have been putting on their shoes for quite a while now - but just within the last few weeks, they finally figured out how to put the little velcro strip through the little hole to fasten their shoes. it isn't that big of a deal, but it was the last step that they used to ask us to finish. now we can cross that off the list of things they need us for! until we buy shoes with laces, that is.

bedtime...

...is one of my favorite times of the day! it isn't exactly for the reason you might think, though. i admit, i do breath a sigh of relief when they are tucked in bed, lights out, door closed. i enjoy getting to take a break, watch tv, read a magazine, or run an errand by myself. i love the fact that for the next 12 hours, my tv won't be on nick jr, disney, or noggin. i also love being able to have a conversation with my husband without being interrupted by shouts of "i neeeeeeed to go pottyyyyy!!" these aren't the only reasons i love bedtime, though. at bedtime, i get to listen to their giggles through the monitor and hear them talk about the fun things they did that day, and their plans for the next day. i can eavesdrop on their conversations, songs, and silliness. for some reason, they hardly ever fight after going to bed. in the minutes (okay...maybe an hour) between lights out and eyes shut, i almost forget what the day has been like. it seems almost unimaginable that those sweet little girls in there were the same fit-throwing, fighting, screaming, crying girls that were in my house this afternoon. almost. bedtime brings the hope that tomorrow will be different. quieter. it usually isn't. bedtime, though, gives me time to rememeber the sweetness that somehow gets lost each day around 4:30pm. but once 4:30 rolls around the next day, i'm less than 4 hours away from bedtime again!

two of a kind

i often wonder what it is like to have a twin. especially an identical twin. what is it like to look at someone who looks just like you? what's it like to have someone that you have literally been with almost every moment from conception? they are together every moment of every day. they fight, yell, tattle, and get mad at each other, but it never takes long to make up. they hold hands in the car, play together, sing, and make up dances for their 'talent shows'. for the first time yesterday, they tried to trick me by telling me that they were their sister. Grace would laugh and say "i'm catherine!" and catherine would smile and say "i'm grace!" i was pretty sure they were teasing me, but i actually did have to look twice! bedtime is just one big slumber party, night after night. they will stay up forever just talking about the day, what they will do tomorrow, and giggling over their nonsense words and sounds. last night they were still awake around 10:00, just singing and laughing. i hope they always stay close. i hope they never get tired of giggling with their sister. i hope they know how lucky they are to have each other!

too fast

sometimes i'm guilty of not enjoying the moment. okay, not just somtimes, but often. i get too easily frustrated by day-to-day life with toddlers. over the past three years, i've found myself thinking that things would be so much easier once they were sleeping through the night, crawling, walking, talking, feeding themselves, out of the stroller...and the list goes on. these days i keep saying "once they are potty trained..." the truth is that things don't really ever become easy. they just change. they grow up. pretty soon they will be potty trained. then they will be in school. driving. going to prom. college. married. i'll look back one day and wish that they still needed me at 2 o'clock in the morning. i'm trying so hard not to wish this time away. it is too short. somedays i'm better at this than others. but for today, i am their mommy. i wipe noses and bottoms, brush hair, bathe and dress. i get to kiss boo-boos and buckle shoes. that's something to be thankful for!

birthday party

the girls turned three last week, so we celebrated with a pink and green birthday party! they loved seeing their favoite colors all over the house. it was so much fun to have everyone together, and to see the girls enjoying their friends and family. i made a photo tree for the party with pictures of the girls over the past three years...it was amazing to think about how far we have come. there were days that first year that i never would have imagined making it to three. we did it, though, and thanks to our family and friends, we're still relatively sane!