looking back

Four years. It seems like so much longer. Four years ago we realized our life was about to change even more than we thought. Just a little over four years ago, we found out we were having twins. We went to the doctor on that Tuesday afternoon, eagerly hoping to see our little baby's heartbeat. We saw two. To say that I was shocked would be a colossal understatement, at the least. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think we would have twins. From the moment I saw the second heartbeat, my mind raced. I was scared to death. I didn't know anything about twins. I didn't know if they would be premature, or if they would be born healthy. I didn't know what complications we could face, or if I would need bedrest. Once the babies were born, how would I possibly be able to take care of two babies at the same time? I worried that I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. I wondered how I would do things normal moms do. How could I go the the grocery store? The dry cleaners? Church? What if I favored one child over the other?

There were so many questions. So many fears.

Four years later, I can still feel those emotions. Even though we've come so far, those emotions are still so real. Maybe it's because I still have the fears and the worries, but for a different reason. I don't worry about the pregnancy, but I worry about their health now. I don't worry about taking care of two babies anymore. I worry about keeping up with two toddlers in the mall. I don't worry about being able to tell them apart. Now I worry about really knowing each of them. And no, I don't favor one over the other. I just worry that others will. Or worse than that, I worry that others won't see them as unique individuals, just twins.

We've learned to do all of the things "normal" families do. Except I've realized that no family is really normal! As they've grown, I've learned how to manage two baby carriers at once, get two babies into and out of the car without the carriers, maneuver a double stroller like it's nobody's business, and get two toddlers (who are most likely to run in opposite directions!) safely through busy places. I've said it before, but it's really true...raising twins is a totally unique experience. It's nothing like I thought it would be four years ago. It is harder, more exhausting, and more unpredictable than I imagined. There is also more love, more laughter, and more blessings than I ever thought possible.

friends in town!

One of my best friends was in town for a wedding this weekend, and the girls and I were lucky enough to be able to spend a little time with her and her family while they were here. The girls enjoyed playing with her son, Preston, and meeting Jill, her husband, Greg, and Jill's dad. It was Jill's mom, though, that won their little hearts! They loved walking through town with her, singing songs to her, and holding her hands. I wish I had a picture of the three of them! I wish I had more pictures of everyone, actually! When the kids are around, they have a way of stealing the spotlight! It was so much fun to see them all and spend a little time with them. I wish we got to see them more often!!

a child's heart

On the way to choir yesterday, the girls wanted to pray that we would stay safe on the way the church. Is my driving that bad? Anyway, here is how their prayer went...

Dear God, please keep us safe on the way to church. And thank you for the green trees and the green grass. And thank you for our friends. And please don't ever go away. You're our Father! Amen.

Pretty sweet.

(And yes, we did make it to church safely!)

Way Back When-esday

Today is Way Back When-esday! Share a picture from way back, then check Twinfatuation to see who else is playing along!

These pictures are from July of 2006, when the girls were only a little over a year old.

Hide-and-seek, anyone?

Hot dogs and french fries and ice cream! Oh, my!

Grandma and Grandad took the whole family to a baseball game last night. The girls had a blast! Reminded me a little of our last visit to the ballpark. They are all about the food...not the game.
Who could they have gotten that from?

perfect pair

Being a mom of twins is really unique. Especially when they're identical twins. They have this whole world that I'm not a part of. A bond that no one can break or even understand. They know what the other is thinking before she has a chance to speak. They can make each other laugh without saying a word. They've been best friends since birth. If you think about it, they've known each other longer than I've known them. They were together before I even knew about them. Watching them grow together over the last 3 1/2 years has been amazing. I can't wait to see what lies ahead.

mother of preschoolers

Yesterday did not go as planned. I should have known that it wouldn't. I'd been looking forward to Friday for months. It was our first MOPS meeting at church. As the table leader coordinator, I'd been working throughout the summer to get table leaders in place, centerpieces organized, and ladies placed at tables. I had made cute little candy jars for the ladies at my table, and placed lots of phone calls. On a selfish level, I was really looking forward to two and a half hours with some of my closest friends. The girls would be playing with friends in another room of the church, and even though I would be at a meeting for mothers of preschoolers, I could excuse myself from mom-duty for a little bit. At least that's how I thought it would go. Instead, my day was a little less predictable. Catherine woke up Friday morning with a cold. She was miserable, so I dropped her off at my mother-in-law's house. Grace and I headed off to church. She went to her room, and I went to mine. Things were great...for about 45 minutes. Not even half-way through MOPS, I got a tap on the shoulder. "Grace is throwing up." I grabbed my things, and took off down the hall. We changed her clothes, got in the car, and prayed that we'd make it home before round two. We didn't. My mother-in-law said she'd keep Catherine through lunch to give us time to get cleaned up and settled in. By the time she got home, Grace was feeling a little better. Just before naptime, Catherine said she had to go to the bathroom. She ran to make it in time, but didn't. After a morning of vomit duty, I now had to clean pee off the bathroom floor. We all three went to take a nap, hoping to wake up feeling better. Once again, it didn't happen. Grace got sick again, and Catherine wasn't any better. The rest of our day was spent in front of the tv, with tissues, towels, and throw-up buckets nearby. Not the day I had planned. I wanted a relaxing morning at a Mothers of Preschoolers meeting. Instead, I got an eventful day of being a mother of preschoolers. But I guess that's what motherhood is all about. Being flexible, dealing with the unexpected, and putting your kids first. And, of course, a little vomit!

Life Lessons

I'm learning with the girls that experience is often the best teacher. I'm always trying to warn them when they're doing something dangerous or thoughtless, but they don't listen. "Don't run on the tile in your socks! I don't want you to fall." CRASH! "Keep you cup away from the edge of the table so it doesn't spill." SPLASH! "Don't bend your headband like that...it might break." SNAP! "Don't stand on your chair like that or you'll hit your chin." THUD! At least a dozen times a day I can be heard saying, "Watch where you're going. You're going to run into something" Well, folks, I think she might have finally learned her lesson...

This morning the girls were running in the yard with a friend when it happened. My friend and I could see it happening like it was in slow motion. There was Catherine, running at full speed, heading straight for a tree. She was, of course, looking behind her. I tried to warn her, but it was too late! She turned to look just in time to hit the tree with the side of her face. She didn't cry for too long, and I was actually surprised it didn't turn out to be much worse than it is. I bit my tongue and didn't say any of the things that were going through my mind. No, I didn't say "I told you so." Not even under my breath. I cleaned her face and held her in my lap until she was calm. You know what the first thing she said was? "I guess I should have watched where I was going." Maybe she's been listening all along!

Grandparents Day

In honor of Grandparents Day, I was going to go on and on about what wonderful grandparents Catherine and Grace have. I was going to tell you how much the girls love them, and how much they love the girls. I wanted to try to explain how much fun it is to see our parents with our kids, and how grateful we are that we all live so close. I thought of so many things I wanted to say, but I couldn't really find the words. The connection between grandparents and grandchildren can't really be written down. Instead, I decided to let these pictures speak for themselves.

Happy Grandparents Day,

Granma and Grandad

&

Nanny and Pop!

We love you!

I'll Tumble For Ya

Last Thursday was the girls' last day of tumbling. Grace, Catherine, and their cousin went to tumbling class twice a week during the month of August , and they loved every minute! I don't know what they liked best - wearing a leotard, getting to hop, jump, and tumble on the mats, or watching themselves in a wall of mirrors! I'm thinking it was the whole package...watching themselves tumble in their leotards in the mirrors. Anyway, they really did have a great time. Their teacher was very laid back, and let all the moms sit in the room and watch (she said we could participate if we wanted!). She didn't even mind if we took pictures during class. It was the perfect first "class" to enroll the girls in. I was able to sit back and watch them interact with other kids and adults in a way that I haven't been able to before. I noticed new things about each of them, and saw little differences come out. Yes, they might look the same, but they are different!

Home Alone

Toby went hunting yesterday, and the girls had at a sleepover at my parents' house last night. That meant I had the house all to myself! Yipee! For more than 12 blissful hours, it was just me. I had a long list of things I wanted to get accomplished last night...clean, vacuum, do laundry, finish MOPS centerpieces, make clipboard crafts, get to bed early, and the list goes on! What did I actually do? I changed the background on my blog, cleaned the kitchen, watched a movie, and picked out the paper for the clipboards. Basically, I stayed up way too late, but I don't have much to show for it! Okay, so I didn't accomplish all that I had planned. I still loved every minute of my evening. But I'm kind of glad that it was just for one night. I missed not telling the girls goodnight, singing to them in bed, and listening to them talk in their room before falling asleep. It was a little lonely, too, not having someone to talk to at night, sleep next to me, or wake up to. Today, the house is back to normal. There have been little feet running through the house, and squealing voices echoing through the halls. The kitchen is already a mess again, and my scrapbooking paper had to be put away. I'm definitely not alone anymore. It was so nice, though, to have time just to be me again. Not that I don't love my role as a mom and a wife, but sometimes I just need a little time for myself. It makes me appreciate what I have even more.

One more thing...as a bonus, the girls are taking a long nap. Really long. 2 hours and counting. Good chance there were some long naps at Nanny and Pop's, too! I heard it was a late night and an early morning.